I have been very lucky to have met some really toxic people really early on, in my life.
I was really young, when some girl’s mother who was at the time my friend told her, “stop eating you’ll end up becoming like Jana”, I was big at the time, and yeah, she did say that in front of me.
I really can’t remember whether it hurt me at the time, it must’ve had if I still remember it now, but the older I got the more I understood, that toxic people and toxic comments had nothing to do with me, and more to do with the person that’s saying it.
Realizing that has led me to creating a personality for the people that had toxic personalities, that would actually suit their personalities, well it was only one person, my best friend at the time, I genuinely liked them as a person, thought they were funny so it wasn’t much of an effort for me.
But again (you’d understand why again, if you’ve read my previous blog post) when I lived on my own, 2ndyear of living in London, reflected on my life back home, on who I was as a person, on the people that were my friends, when I realized that behaving in the way I was feeling and being me was the best approach to having a good life, I had established that there’s no point in being anyone but myself, and if people required me to be someone else, they probably didn’t suit my life and path.
But that’s me, let me break it down so you can hopefully relate.
We as humans are like chemicals, and like chemicals we will either bond with some people, or we won’t. That’s just natural, it doesn’t mean we should hate on people we don’t bond with, we just learn what we’re meant to learn from them, send love their way and walk away.
But our role as chemicals is to be able to identify who are the people that make our energy radiate even more, and the people that, rather, drain it, if we want to be happy and grow into the best versions of ourselves.
Who are toxic people? Are they bad people? No, just bad to have in your life, they are bad to themselves, within themselves, they have some sort of insecurities. People that haven’t healed, don’t get me wrong, not everyone that hasn’t healed or with insecurities is toxic, but it’s a massive difference between being toxic to yourself, feeling bad about yourself and being toxic to others to feel better about yourself.
Toxic people are those that will criticize almost everything, those that will belittle others, thinking it will make them more important. Remember that person that will always find something bad to say when you’ve said something nice about something or someone? Yes, that’s a toxic person. Can you think of the person that backstabs almost everyone, and remembers mostly the bad things that happen on different occasions? Yeah, that’s a toxic person. Remember the person that tried telling you you’re not as special? That you couldn’t do it? That you’re not as good as you think you are? Yup, that again is a toxic person. Any person that tells you anything in a harsh way, and that isn’t to make you a better person, is a toxic person that feels bad deep down, and is trying to make you feel bad too.
Let me give you an example, that will make what I’m saying more relatable. Remember when your ex/current boyfriend/girlfriend has made you feel so bad? And you made up something, or even told them something that is true but only to make them feel as bad?
Remember that loaded bad energy and bad feeling you’ve had at the time, and that heat in your head and the so much tension?
Some people feel that (not as tense) whenever they see something nice on someone else, whenever they see someone happy, someone achieving something, whenever they see something that they aren’t fully confident about in themselves. It could also be called jealousy, jealousy (not in the romantic way, although it could be sometimes) is toxic. And this is why I refuse to call toxic people bad people, but bad to have in your life, because these people actually have a tougher life, within themselves, even if they may show the opposite.
I have often tried to help people that I thought were somehow toxic, but I have realized that it is impossible, only the people that seek help and want change will take and accept it.
If this blog post has made you feel like a toxic person, that’s not a bad thing, in fact that’s a marvelous thing, especially if you’ve read it till here. Realizing our mistakes and being annoyed about them gets us on the route of eliminating them, if we try a tiny bit. Our brain is the most magical thing in the world, and the power we have over it is even more amazing, but it’s very tricky too, because it all depends on the thoughts we fill it with, whether they are positive or negative ones. Whether they are with or against ourselves. (read my first blog, on discovering you, being you and loving you, for more details on pulling the magic out of your brain)
Whenever you feel, you’re in a place and you’re not vibing enough to be proper vibing, get up, get out! Whenever you feel someone is being negative and it’s draining you, send them love and walkaway.
Surround yourself with the people that make you want to be you the most, the people that inspire you, the people you want to be like, the people that will help you grow into the better version of you and always remember, “your life, your choice” goes a long a way, everything is down to the decisions you make and what they are based on, down to the people you surround yourself with, down to the activities that you engage in and actually make you happy.
I’ll leave you with one of my Instagram captions: “be careful who you surround yourself with, be careful who’s telling you what to make themselves feel how, be careful who you listen to, and what they try and make you believe, because that’s what they’re trying to make themselves believe cause they’re just sad, and if you don’t be careful it might get you sad and you ain’t got time for that.”