Why don’t schools have a subject called “discover you”? It’s also funny how we take a test to become anything in life, but not one to test whether we’re ready to become parents. Right, let’s say this is a bit harsh, everyone’s got the right to have children, but why isn’t parenting classes a must. What’s more important being able to drive, driving your kids everywhere, or being able to understand yourself and bring up children that understand themselves so well, children that are so driven and understand that they can go anywhere if they really wanted to.
Yet, we do take a driving test, as for our driven children, that is a competition, of whose children are the most driven without necessarily working towards it, some do, I’m talking about those that don’t.
When I walk in the streets and see parents screaming at their children, I think of them as monsters. When I see parents criticizing their children, these are monsters too. You have brought a brand new empty book to this world and you are about to fill it up from birth till after it starts getting filled from the outside world, so whatever this kid does, that is purely you.
I’ve spoken about parenting a lot so far, I’ll tell you why. So, one of the elements that really makes up who we are as a person is the lack of attention and/or affection or the overload of attention and/or affection that we get from our parents as kids, it gets buried inside us and until we figure it out we continue being affected by it and behave according to it.
I’ll give you an example, a girl that lacked attention and/or affection from her dad growing up, that’s been abused, be it verbally or physically will grow up having issues, feeling worthless and crave attention/affection in unusual unique ways, allow men to treat her the way her dad treated her. Men love a girl with daddy issues, don’t they? They’re fun to throw about, aren’t they? Now some of the people around her will think of her as “the girl next door”, but most importantly what would her dad do if he was to see or know the way that she craves her attention/affection and what satisfies her? Kill her? Is she the one to blame? Or is it her dad? But who sees it like that in our world?
I’ll give you another example, a boy that’s had extra attention/affection from his mom growing up and a bit less from his dad, his dad was there but not really there. The boy will eventually grow up craving masculine energy, but then what would his dad think of him? As a disgrace to the family, wouldn’t he? What about the closed-minded people of society? They would judge him till the death of them. And again, is the boy to be blamed? Or is it the way he’s been parented? Too bad, this world doesn’t see it like that.
Another thing parents often do that damage all the good energy and unique character that is meant to bloom but slowly fades away is ask their children “what would people think if they found out?” “what do you want people to say about us?” giving a massive importance to people’s opinions instead of simply asking “why did you do that?” I think that’s an easier question to answer, isn’t it?
I think that’s one of the main reasons people grow up worrying and caring so much about what other people think of them. No one’s told them that people will only know about them what they tell them about themselves that people will perceive them in the same way they perceive themselves, that their body language will say much more than their mouth will. But most importantly, that people’s opinions should be the last thing they should even think of, that their opinion about themselves is the only thing they should be worried about, because really that’s all that matters, if they don’t love and understand themselves as a person, no one will ever truly understand them and love them for who they really are.
But no instead, we sit there comparing ourselves to everyone else, like the success and beauty in others has anything to do with our own unique world. We grow up looking to satisfy ourselves with things outside of us, be it other people, materialistic stuff or even drugs, anything to get us distracted from who we really are, from the inner voice in our heads. No one’s ever told us that the magic is actually us, inside our heads, beyond all the issues the damages and the pain that we’re trying to escape. Beyond not knowing who we are, and being scared of what we’re not.
Our wants, that don’t necessarily aid us in becoming the best versions of ourselves turn into needs, and we become slaves to these distractions, we become addicted to them. Forgetting that maybe if we just looked inside ourselves, understood who we are, and why we behave in the way that we do, what actually makes us happy naturally without anything else from outside our own body and mind, we will find our own unique way in this world. And all the comparison and hate, turns into inspiration and love.
Should we blame parents? No of course not, they were children in their turn, and the same has happened to them. We eventually grow up and learn what’s right, what’s wrong and we become in control of our choices, thoughts and beliefs which actually build up our world around us. Which means that we’re all artists, that life and the future are not scary, they are a canvas really and the decisions that we make are the brush.
Social media has also made it way easier for people to compare themselves to others, I find it crazy how most of the people I speak to actually know loads about others just through their social media accounts. Instead of using this mass weapon of communication to share their very unique story, they are actually using it to put themselves down. HOW CRAZY IS THAT?
How can you be ten times more focused on other people and their lives when you’re here for a short period of time, and you are the only version of you, no one else is like you. How could you possibly care about anything or anyone around you unless it is to inspire you? How are you not so curious to discover everything about you and what you’ve been sent here to do?
I really want you to realize that anything that worries you can stop existing if you stop thinking about it. I really want you to realize how failure is not an option if you don’t make it. I really want you to realize that people perceive you the way you portray yourself. I really want you to realize that all your dreams and visions are only some sets of tasks away. I really want you to realize how quick time is going. I really want you to step out of your comfort zone into your absolute best potential and pool of opportunities. I really want you to inspire others around you and share your unique lens and perspective of the world with the rest of us.
Today I’d like you to pretend that you’re confident, like you know what you’re saying, I want you to feel so sure of yourself. Put it this way you know about people what they tell/show you about themselves, so surely you can be whoever you want to be, can’t you? You’re not born in a certain way and that’s it. You change day in, day out. You’re here to explore as many ways as you possibly can, mix and match what works best for you. YOU and what you make of it is all that matters.