Discovering you is never a final destination, it never stops, you’re already going through it, but you’re either going with yourself and for yourself or going against yourself and for others.
I realized the importance of behaving exactly in the way I was feeling after my first year living on my own for the first time in my life. After reflecting so long on everything in my life, my life back in Lebanon.
I had realized that I was somehow like a group of people, and behaved in the way most people I come from behaved. I had realized that underneath that first layer, a layer of issues. The things that I would be affected, triggered or offended by. And whenever these bells were rung, I’d take it personally, behave differently, blame/hate on the ringer, not knowing its unnecessary hate and weight I could only see and feel.
I started looking for my issues, took my time in trying to understand where they came from and why they made me feel different, kept on digging, till I’m convinced and it makes sense, till it feels like I can breathe better and a weight’s just been lifted of my chest.
Some issues I’ve discovered later in life, when the right circumstances occurred for them to unleash. I then went after things that scared me, like the dark, highways, acting/dressing in a certain way, dedicated a month for it, but I eventually ran out of things.
Although discovering yourself is not a final destination and it doesn’t end, it did get to a point where I felt free, the more I was behaving in the way I was feeling and being me the freer I felt.
But that’s me, let me break it down so you can apply it to you. You are here for a short time and there’s only one version of you, no one else is like you. Your job as a human is to discover what your mission is and what you’ve been sent here to do.
Now as a human too, you feel and have emotions, you’re actually a bundle of emotions. The more you are aware of those emotions the more you have
control over them. The less you are aware of these emotions the more they have control over you.
Let’s break it down even more, different things that happen in our day to day lives may trigger us to either the good or the bad. (get yourself a notepad and start writing them down). With your list of things which trigger you badly, try and understand why they make you feel this way, where are they rooting from?
Is it something that you could stop doing and it would disappear? Is it something that you have to come at one with? Keep asking yourself until you have an answer, but don’t focus too much on the negative, unless it’s helping you accept and get over it. As for your list of things that trigger you positively, as long as you can make sure it’s not fake positivity or at the cost of someone else’s positivity, do as much as you can of it.
The more you do and grow in the things you love, the more you become the things you love. Now after you’ve started having the habit of observing yourself and judging yourself to better yourself, instead of worrying about how people perceived you. Now that you understand yourself a bit better, you can start testing stuff on yourself. You can start challenging yourself, putting yourself under pressure, doing things that scare you, you need to step out of your comfort zone, try new things, meet new people, put yourself in whole new situations and observe again how you react then, again and again.
Enjoy this ongoing learning process for life. Take that notepad along this discovery journey and write down all of the things that make you happy (really happy), the things that intrigue you, things you are passionate about and discover that you love doing. Engage more in the activities that you’ve discovered made you happy, or even think might make you happy.
Engage in things you doubt you are able to do, but really want to do, achieving those will make you feel like magic. Do the things that you were to do, if you were to actually be happy, the things that you feel you grow in, grow in the things you love. The more you’re going to become aware of your emotions, the more you’re going to have control over them, and the more you’re going to be able to monitor your reactions caused by them (keep it real).
The more you’re going to engage in the things that you love and make you happy, the more you’re going to become the things you love. Most importantly the more you keep digging into yourself, to understand yourself, do the things that work better for yourself, the more you will attract people like yourself and even very different to yourself. This in itself is magic. Like nature, art and all beautiful things, humans are extremely inspiring, even the least inspiring of them, just because every single one of them is super different and unique, the more you meet, the more you see, the more you learn.
You need to understand that at the core of every connection that you have, even the lightest and shortest termed ones, is a lesson, something you need to take out, it may be positive, it may be negative. And with lessons sent from the universe, it’s always to enlighten you. I’ll give you my take on it; when I think of people that come into my life I imagine my path as a train. This train travels with time. People come in, people come out, things happen. The train’s role is to store all of the lessons that will contribute in my growth and help me become a better version, everything else stays there and then. This is why I believe people, especially constant new people in my life is a major factor in my growth.
Whenever you feel that a person a place makes your energy radiate a tiny bit less, get them out your life, leave. Your comfort is a key element in your ability of expressing and being your true authentic self. Now that you know what triggers you to the good, the bad. Now that you know a bit more about what you love, what really makes you happy. Now that you’ve become a bit more you and can attract other like you. Now that you’ve already hoped on the train that’s leading you to your true authentic happiest self.
What to do with now?
Now is the most important thing in the world. The most thing you have control over. Our universe is the biggest source of love and the only source of love that will keep trying with you till you choose love too! Loads of things happen in our day to day lives, in most situations we will have a choice between doing the right thing for ourselves or the wrong thing. And it’s as simple as that.
Whenever you feel like you have to make a choice, always go for being good, for yourself or others. One last thing I would like you to remember, think of a tree’s roots, then think of your nervous system, they look quite the same, don’t they? Regardless of what you believe in, we all know that trees and all nature us humans come from the same Source of Love.
Trees were created to give us oxygen to survive, but the real main difference is the fact that trees haven’t got a choice but to be real and beautiful but we do! Since we come from the same source, surely, we too, were born to be the realest most authentic version of ourselves and just be beautiful no?
I’ll leave you with “are you ready for your blessings, are you ready for your miracles?” (Chance the Rapper voice).